The Wave

I can see the stress in his eyes. He thinks I cannot, or maybe he wants me to see it, but I don't want to pry. I know it's a difficult time on the inside for him. It's so hard to share this with the outside world because it doesn't show outright. It's mostly in the eyes, in the downward posture, in the slowness of movement that it is revealed. It's just rough seas inside. Too many choice, too many thoughts and feelings, and no control leaves you feeling powerless like a storm coming in and the swells are rising higher and higher and all you can do is hold on to the boat while your stomach turns and you pray for solid ground again. Then you hit solid ground and you can't find your legs. It's harder to get off the boat then to let the sea carry you out again because this storm rages on inside, the inside. How can you explain the weight you feel inside? How can anyone understand? So you stay huddled in your boat and pray for the next storm to take you out again . Eventually, the swells bring comfort and allow you to surrender to the power that is bigger and one day that power fills you up inside again. You are made stronger but you are different. You are not the person you were. You find your voice has changed, your body has changed, your mind has changed. It's time now to get off the boat and see yourself in the eyes of those who love, those who really love you, those who can see you and celebrate the changes, the healing. It 's time to come home to yourself.